I Don't Care What You Think (As Long As It's About Me)
by ambitiousbutrubbish
Summary: "Why don't you think Tommy's hot?" Billy sort of shouts, and he's pretty sure he leapt over the line from 'flirty self-deprecation to get your boyfriend to tell you you're cute' straight into just plain 'creepy'. Fortunately - or unfortunately - Billy is a pretty devoted practitioner of the principle of 'go big or go home', and he sets his jaw firm. - Billy/Teddy


**A/N:** I'm coming here super late and this is just irredeemable sap I'm sorry.

Every time I wrote "mom" instead of "mum" my little Australian heart hurt so be proud of me for powering through.

Billy calls Teddy both his boyfriend and his fiancé and this is because while they _are_ engaged I personally don't love the way that repeatedly referring to someone as "my fiancé" sounds after the initial introduction. It just sounds clunky(?) to me, I guess(?). So yeah he mostly refers to him as his boyfriend. And besides Billy calls Teddy his boyfriend in the comics still so eh.

* * *

They're at their new apartment when it starts.

Technically speaking, it's Teddy's new apartment. Roberto gifted it to the both of them, but Billy's parents do not approve of the idea of him moving out while he's still a teenager unless he's going away to college. Billy had almost fought it - almost pointed out that if he can go around fighting supervillains and basically stitching the multiverse back together, he can probably handle living in a rent-free apartment that he legally owns, in a safe neighbourhood, with his physically imposing, near-invulnerable boyfriend who is more than willing to put himself in harm's way to protect him.

But he'd seen the lines at the corners of his mom's eyes and the grey hairs coming in at his dad's temples and in a brilliant flash of awareness only made possible by years of subconsciously absorbing his mom's attempts to psychoanalyse him, he'd realised that all of _that_ is precisely the problem. Because they're his _parents_ , and everything he's been doing for the last few years has been as good as telling them he doesn't need them anymore. It would be a bit of a dick move to imply the same with his words. And it's not _true_. He needs his mom and dad every day for emotional support and stability and a reminder that there's a real life out there; with real, average, non-powered people to protect. Billy is sure his parents know how important they are to him, but he will concede he could stand to tell them a little more. And he can give them this one thing for their peace of mind.

That's not to say he does't teleport to Teddy's every night anyway. Doesn't wake up every morning warm and safe in Teddy's arms - Teddy's chest rising and falling against his back as he breathes, fingers curled over his chest as if he's holding Billy together. Doesn't stretch contentedly against Teddy's body as the faint light of dawn creeps into the apartment under the curtains, and turn to give Teddy a soft, slow kiss before porting back to his parent's house and catching another hour or so of sleep.

It's the thought that counts, anyway.

So they're at _Teddy's_ apartment when it starts, because Billy doesn't live there. Except that he really does, in every way except parental approval.

His movies are here, sharing shelf space with Teddy's games. And so are most of his books, all mingled together with Teddy's. Half of the closet space is his, though he hasn't moved a whole lot of his clothes because his dad always actually remembers to do the laundry and Billy isn't sure he'd manage it. The bedding comes from his house, though, and the towels. It had seemed silly to make Teddy pay for things Billy had readily available. (The second night Teddy's in the apartment, Billy's mom waits up to see if he is sneaking out. But she can't stay awake for as long as he can, and when Billy appears late in the night Teddy is already asleep, his face buried in Billy's pillow hugged close to his chest.) Some of the groceries in the fridge are his that he bought with his own money, and he writes his name on them like they're just roommates rather than people who are _engaged_ and share a bed. But it makes Teddy smile when he sees it and then eats Billy's expensive cheese - even though he doesn't actually like them - just because he can; so Billy isn't self-conscious.

And when they invite their friends over for a housewarming party, the invitation comes from the both of them.

-00000-

Kate is the only one - apart from Teddy - who can buy alcohol, and she's the _only_ one who can do it _legally_ and also actually afford it. So she arrives earlier than everyone else, with an impressively large assortment of bottles and cans that they make Teddy carry inside because super strength is useful for more than just superheroing. Teddy pouts and says something about using his powers for breaking the law in providing alcohol to an underage party, but Billy kisses him and Teddy grins and goes off to move boxes while Billy and Kate watch.

Cassie arrives next, and Billy thinks it's better than almost anything that has ever happened that she's alive again. But it's also a little weird and kind of cool that she's _younger_ than she was before. Then Tommy and David turn up, and America shortly after. Noh-Varr walks in just in time to make Tommy and America's fight over control of the music even worse, Tommy trying to change the songs so fast that Billy's phone can't actually keep up, and America snatching it off him every time he pauses long enough because he finds something he likes. Noh-Varr just sings whatever song he wants to listen to over top of what's being played. He has a pleasant voice. Not as nice as Teddy, who can shift to sound like anyone he wants, and frequently does - Billy _knows_ it's not Sam Wilson breaking into the apartment while he's in the shower and telling him to suit up, or Captain Marvel asking him to explain Snog Marry Avoid. But he jumps to it every time because what if it _is?_

Noh-Varr's certainly a better singer than Tommy or Billy, who can barely carry a tune. It doesn't stop them from trying, of course, and Teddy changes in solidarity because he's just that nice and he's come so far that he's more than willing to embarrass himself rather than try to impress. And it's well on its way to escalating to a truly unpleasant sound when Kate clears her throat loudly and announces there's someone at the door. Cassie and David breath twin unsubtle sighs of relief as Billy goes to let the guest in, and arguments are forgotten in the cheery, new face of Doreen. By the time Eli arrives, everyone has settled down into conversation.

-00000-

Hours later the party is winding down and Billy is just a little bit passed buzzed. He excuses himself to go to the bathroom, and that's when Kate asks _The Question_.

And Billy doesn't mean to overhear, alright. It's an accident. An accident where he's dawdling and he just _happens_ to still be in the hallway to hear Kate say "Alright, Teddy. Now that Billy's gone, you _have_ to name your top five hottest superheroes. No more excuses." And Billy freezes.

There's a silence behind him. If Billy had to guess, he'd say it's because Teddy is probably drinking. Teddy can't actually get drunk. Something about his healing or his alien biology stops him from feeling the full effects of alcohol. But it's not instantaneous, and he can manage to get tipsy if he drinks enough quickly enough. And Billy can't imagine a situation where Teddy answers _that_ question completely sober.

It's Cassie who speaks next, though. "No," she says with obvious amusement in her voice. "Not including Billy." And even though he can hear Tommy and David snicker at that, Billy can't help the pleased flush that spreads all over his body.

And then Teddy answers. And _he doesn't name Tommy_.

-00000-

It's not that Billy thinks Teddy does't love him. Because that would be stupid. Teddy constantly tells him he does; with his words, with the way he touches him so softly and carefully, with the heavy feeling of his arm across his chest in the sleepy early morning hours. And it's not that he thinks Teddy does't find him attractive. Because he's proven that he does. Many times. So many times, in fact, that they're not allowed to patrol alone anymore because they _will_ forget to pay attention to anything but each other as soon as they have any kind of privacy.

And Teddy had gone to name him first before Cassie vetoed it.

But it had hurt to hear that if they take away the fiancé goggles, he's not even top five. And he can handle being behind Thor and Captain America because like Kate said when Teddy started his list: "duh." But even so. He _had_ hoped to be at least third.

-00000-

It's _ridiculous_ \- and a level of insecure that Billy had thought long behind him - but he can't seem to let it go. He doesn't even know why because he's not an _idiot_ , he knows that Teddy is going to find other guys objectively good looking. Being in love doesn't stop his eyes from working and frankly pretty much everyone they know is stupid attractive. And he also knows that Teddy would _never_ do anything about it, so there's no reason for it to bug him.

Except Teddy thinks at least five people are hotter than Tommy, and Tommy is his identical twin. And it shouldn't bother him but it _does_. It flashes across his mind at the strangest times. He's doing the dishes and he thinks "if I was out of the picture then Teddy would rather be with someone who looks like Black Panther than someone who looks like me." He's setting up a magical decoy to fool his parents before he teleports away, and he can't help but wonder if the fact that he's a scrawny teenage boy that can easily be replicated with a couple of pillows shoved under his blankets that makes Teddy think that Colossus is better looking than him. Billy doubts there's enough pillows in his house - even with his parents and two younger brothers and their couch - to make a pile big enough to fake Colossus.

And Billy doesn't _want_ to be this insecure teenager looking at his super hot boyfriend and thinking he isn't good enough. He just wants to be _over it_ already so he swallows all his doubts and he just asks.

"Why don't you think Tommy's hot?"

It comes out louder than he had planned. And shriller. And definitely more accusatory than he had wanted. He does't want Teddy to think he's _angry_ about it because he's not. Not in his rational brain, anyway.

Also he kind of shouted it, if the way that Teddy's face has frozen in a look that is half shock and half bemusement is any indication. They'd been sitting on the couch, arms pressed together and watching something that hadn't even registered with Billy, but Teddy leans back a little in the face of Billy's outburst. He blinks, and then says carefully: "What?"

Billy blushes, but he's started now. He may as well see it through. "I heard you guys at the party when left to go to the bathroom. Tommy wasn't in your top 5 hottest heroes and he and I are identical. Why?'

Teddy doesn't laugh. Billy would have laughed if it was him, but Teddy is too nice so he just pauses for a moment in a way that is conspicuously _Not Laughing_ before answering. "You don't look the same," he says, and shakes his head as Billy opens his mouth to protest. "No. I know you're technically identical. But you and Tommy don't look the same. Not to me."

"I don't get it."

Teddy sighs, his eyebrows drawing together. "You wear your faces differently. If that makes sense." Billy scrunches up his nose in confusion and Teddy smiles. "See. That there. Tommy would never make that face. He'd just roll his eyes." And Billy has to concede that. but he still squints at Teddy, more for emphasis than anything else. Teddy reaches across and rubs his thumb up and down the creases between Billy's eyes like he's trying to smooth them out. "That is you." He says, and gives Billy's nose a little tweak before putting his hands back in his lap. "Your expressions. Tommy's resemblance is only skin deep."

"Besides," Teddy continues, and now _he_ looks embarrassed, which can only be a good development in Billy's book. Puts them on an even playing ground. "Kate never actually gave me any rules. She just wanted to know who I thought were the hottest. And that includes personality." He pauses for a moment, clears his throat. "I mean don't get me wrong, I like Tommy. But he can be a dick sometimes."

Billy's laugh is startled out of him; it's funny because it's true and Tommy _can_ be a dick sometimes. And it's also true that if Billy actually stops to think about Teddy's list of hot heroes, it's pretty much just a list of the top 5 supers who have been nice to them: Thor, Captain America, Black Panther, Colossus, Dare– "Hang on," Billy says, amusement colouring his voice because Teddy is blatantly breaking his own rules. "Daredevil's kind of a jerk."

"Well yeah," Teddy admits, and his cheeks blush a pale pink and it's _wonderful_ because Teddy only blushes when he lets himself, and he only lets himself when he's feeling comfortable and unguarded and he's with Billy. It makes Billy want to cuddle up and do all sorts of domestic things like buy some goldfish and name them after their favourite comic characters, or lie around in their underwear and watch crappy daytime TV because they're _safe_ together and nothing can change that. "But have you _seen_ his butt?" Teddy continues. "I have _limits_ , Billy."

And Billy actually snorts a little at that, and tips forward so his face is pressed against Teddy's chest, half in embarrassment and half because he's just so _happy_ that he has this in his life. In his wildest daydreams he never imagined sitting on a couch with his fiancé and talking about Daredevil's butt, but it's better than anything he could have come up with. It's _real_. "So if we're talking just looks, then Tommy would be right up there?" He asks, but he doesn't even really need to know because that doesn't matter in the face of everything else.

"Tommy would be first." Teddy agrees, and Billy snuggles closer, mashing his nose against the soft material of Teddy's hoodie. Teddy's arms come up and settle around his waist. "He might even be above you. I've always had a weakness for blonds."

Billy snorts again, because he _knows_ that Teddy's only been interested in two people in his life, and Greg's hair was as dark as Billy's own. "That's a lie and you know it." He says; and it's muffled, but he's sure Teddy hears it because he feels the smile on Teddy's lips when he bends down to touch them to the top of Billy's head.

"Yeah." Teddy replies, voice soft but thick with emotion. "There's no one but you."

* * *

 **A/N:** Thor is the best looking Avenger and if you don't agree you can fight Melinda May about it.

I don't actually know what comics!Matt is like but MCU!Matt was pretty much unbearable in the back half of season 2 so…

I kinda want to write some evil!Billy/Teddy where where every time they kill someone they sing "Mmm Whatcha' Say" because even when they're supervillains they're still giant nerds. Except I have no other ideas for it. That's literally the whole plot.


End file.
